About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Perfectionist
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Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (6591)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16971) - you deserved it (6184)
On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (2881)
On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (1970)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6369) - you deserved it (23001)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (14955)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (1708)
On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5230) - you deserved it (40088)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (1652)
On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4402) - you deserved it (34504)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4818) - you deserved it (21189)
On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6357) - you deserved it (21147)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19239) - you deserved it (9773)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13879) - you deserved it (2077)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (6125)
On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 20 May 2013
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