About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5377) - you deserved it (44660)
On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (3472)
On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (23072)
On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (32335)
On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20880) - you deserved it (9259)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6934) - you deserved it (29032)
On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (1938)
On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6407) - you deserved it (55771)
On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (18034)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10070) - you deserved it (32899)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14030) - you deserved it (47983)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14733) - you deserved it (22785)
On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (31482)
On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (7556)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6727) - you deserved it (17444)
On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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