Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barlessprison

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 12:24pm) | Search for a member

barlessprison

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 65421
  • Number of comments : 326
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.

barlessprison's page activity

Visits<b>suckmideck</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:54am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:51pm<b>jinx1995</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:46pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:35am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:30pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>aditya831</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:13am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:17am<b>Erin2009</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:07pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:41am<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:42am<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:12am<b>yusi1891</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:35am<b>sawq1023</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:50am

barlessprison's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barlessprison's badges

barlessprison's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98930) - you deserved it (269615)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17789) - you deserved it (43732)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18817) - you deserved it (43062)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

#1520642
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78843) - you deserved it (8484)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

#1400081
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8070) - you deserved it (70546)

On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

#1375627
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47287) - you deserved it (13275)

On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44681) - you deserved it (4881)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

#1313726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50408) - you deserved it (5528)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:51am - intimacy - by bongoboy - United States (California)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73494) - you deserved it (8696)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (85258)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML

#1251660
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (63030)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML

#1251660
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (63030)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (74062)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (75044)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: