About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50833) - you deserved it (21038)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9017) - you deserved it (54537)
On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76074) - you deserved it (203523)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14654) - you deserved it (32770)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15062) - you deserved it (32463)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69885) - you deserved it (6588)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89047) - you deserved it (14377)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6340) - you deserved it (54587)
On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (10241)
On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38585) - you deserved it (3687)
On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43824) - you deserved it (4132)
On 04/25/2009 at 3:51am - intimacy - by bongoboy - United States (California)
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64361) - you deserved it (6799)
On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (65947)
On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (50688)
On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (50688)
On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
