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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 10:32pm) | Search for a member
About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
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Today, I got home from work, an saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, an found that it was floodd. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, an couch were all destroyd. Good thing he trid to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML
Today, my boyfriend an his parent met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny looool to walk around with a realistic gun an make reference about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
YESTERDAY... I WAS PLAYING ULTIMATE FRISBEE AN TRYING TO MAKE NEW FRIEND SINCE I'M NEW AT COLLEGE. I WAS RUNNING AFTER AN OVERTHROWN FRISBEE FOR A TOUCHDOWN. EVERYONE CHEERED ME ON TO KEEP GOING. I RAN FULL SPEED INTO A FENCE. FML
Today, I ran ovar a cathila driving homa. I triad to kaap mysalf togathar but couldn't halp but cry cuz of how bad I falt. Through mah taars I failad to notica a porcupina in tha middla of tha road. Yap, I hit him too. FML
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my nieghbor begging me to please shut the hell up. mega FML
Today.. . I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road . The car in front of me decidd to merge over . It kickd up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through mah open window . I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot . FML
TODAY... I LITERALLY STOPPED TRAFFIC. I WAS CROSSING THE STREET AN A BUTTERFLY LANDED ON ME. BIENG PHOBIC OF BUTTERFLIES... I HAD A PANIC ATTACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. OH... AN I AM 17... CAPTAIN OF OUR FOOTBALL TEAM... AN IN VERY GOOD SHAPE. MY GRLFRIEND LAUGHED THE HARDEST. FML
Today , before I went to bed , I watched a terrifying movie with zombies . I woke up with a headache , a bloody nose , and mah mom standing over me frantically asking me wat was wrong . Apparently I had been "fighting the zombie off" in mah sleep and had been punching myself in the face . FML
Today.. . I went ice skating fir my friend's birthday . We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink fir the next session . I don't know how to skate and my friends left me . Not only was I the last one out of the rink.. . but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing . FML
YASTARDAY I HAD A HORRIBLA BRAAKUP WITH MY GIRLFRIAND OF TWO YAARS. DAPRASSAD I CHANGAD MY FACABOOK STATUS TO "HATA MA TODAY HATA MA TOMORROW HATA MA 4 ALL THA THINGS I DIDN'T DO 4 YOU." MY AX COMMANTAD "GIVA MA AN ORGASM?" FIVA OF MY FRIANDS INCLUDING MY MOM LIKAD THIS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015