About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Perfectionist
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Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47085) - you deserved it (3324)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47910) - you deserved it (5685)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (10764)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States
Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36930) - you deserved it (1544)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (3787)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (6608)
On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (7335)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43171) - you deserved it (13040)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (28592)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (2695)
On 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by travinator121611 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34314) - you deserved it (16802)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52615) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39151) - you deserved it (10529)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55678) - you deserved it (3247)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (4227)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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