About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Perfectionist
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54870) - you deserved it (4111)
On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (42956) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (4484)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (32905) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (7839)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14985) - you deserved it (814)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (4939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (1130)
On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21555) - you deserved it (3673)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (2264)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (5380)
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (4025)
On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13570) - you deserved it (6075)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (2290)
On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5236) - you deserved it (20033)
On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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