Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barlessprison

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 12:59pm) | Search for a member

barlessprison

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 66077
  • Number of comments : 326
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.

barlessprison's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 6:48pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:52am<b>xxreikoxx</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:52pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:14pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:54pm<b>suckmideck</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:54am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:51pm<b>jinx1995</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:46pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:35am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:30pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>aditya831</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:13am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:17am

barlessprison's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of barlessprison's badges

barlessprison's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63163) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33001) - you deserved it (50899) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (6148)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10080) - you deserved it (45056) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (10355)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (1264)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21329) - you deserved it (1466)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (6025)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (4585)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (8356)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (2739)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7378) - you deserved it (30139)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: