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barfcannon

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barfcannon

13Fucked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2151
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.

Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.

Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.

All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message!

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>Vhavoc11</b> - 12 hours ago<b>PackersBacker</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:23am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:10am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:17am<b>theTravinator</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:42am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 6:28am<b>Cely988</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:52am<b>swag420xoxo</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:19am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:00pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:56am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:41pm<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:30am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:02am<b>miianah1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:05pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:01pm<b>black_day</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 8:42am<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:42pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:41pm

Fucked!<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:42am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:02pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:41am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:11am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:54am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:58pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:56pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (3154)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (2525)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (12392)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (11623)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42785) - you deserved it (5156)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48301) - you deserved it (3554)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (7718)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (3707)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43328) - you deserved it (8730)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43675) - you deserved it (22709)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)



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