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banstrom17

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banstrom17
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

#3456831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (11290)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53613) - you deserved it (4078)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58982) - you deserved it (8953)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was texting the girl I am in love with. I was dropping hints about liking someone who I didn't know if they liked me back. Flirting a little. And just when I thought she'd say she liked me too, she said "Don't worry, if you were straight, I would definitely date you!". FML

#3186990
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (4536)

On 06/24/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by fml7458364838 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

#2624268
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52789) - you deserved it (2856)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:43am - intimacy - by MBG (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57344) - you deserved it (5313)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59803) - you deserved it (27541)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (75272)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (57681)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69229) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

#436547
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95033) - you deserved it (17662)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10054) - you deserved it (38654)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a crap at work. When I go to flush the toilet, it clogs and begins to overflow. I leave the bathroom the way it is and as I walk out, my boss comes in. FML

#1353
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12081) - you deserved it (7218)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:45am - work - by DonPedro - United States (New York)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (20276)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version



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