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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (2916) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16641) - you deserved it (1356)
On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (3467)
On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (2631)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (7720)
On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)
Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14249) - you deserved it (5014)
On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (2765)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21557) - you deserved it (1996)
On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17646) - you deserved it (3991)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (26994)
On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States
Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (21566)
On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16506) - you deserved it (2485)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (27837)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (4298)
On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2383)
On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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