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banman12321

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banman12321
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  • Number of visits : 255
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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banman12321's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (9783)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (4051)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (5619)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17467) - you deserved it (2739)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

#17756781
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183583) - you deserved it (27540)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218668) - you deserved it (28162)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



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