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banhart28's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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banhart28's favorite FMLs
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Ashleigh / 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML
by IHateBeingAStudent / 02/12/2012 at 4:43am / Money
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2012 at 4:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, while looking for pants to fit over my cast from a broken leg the drawer of my dresser flew… Today, I was working my job as a cashier and a big, sweaty, bald man came through my till. When the… Today, I was taking a picture for my girlfriend on her phone when a message from another guy popped…