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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (5438)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (2869)
On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23215) - you deserved it (2703)
On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (3289)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8571) - you deserved it (14270)
On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you deserved it (6538)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (20569)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (22175)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6879) - you deserved it (33017)
On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (3124)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (18225)
On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43504)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (4149)
On 12/01/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Bostonian (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (22497)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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