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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (1515)
On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (1942)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (1078)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (1206)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (15869)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (4015)
On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18025) - you deserved it (3524)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (1493)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21547) - you deserved it (3672)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (10011)
On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (6902)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74316) - you deserved it (3037)
Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1192)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6452) - you deserved it (14023)
On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23742) - you deserved it (2020)
On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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