About baconftw : If you came to stalk me because of something I said, mission accomplished.
baconftw's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
baconftw's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML
by Kyle / 11/09/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML
by rainbows? more like shitstorms / 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
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- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…