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backawayfromme

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  • Number of visits : 513
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Visits<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 2:11pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 2:25am

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backawayfromme's favorite FMLs

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (2360)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (3011)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

#13013607
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9966) - you deserved it (43915)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

#12687636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (7556)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (7377)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

#8681991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (2309)

On 02/27/2010 at 2:37am - animals - by lovingsnow (woman) - Singapore

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (6092)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5912) - you deserved it (26038)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9566) - you deserved it (99458)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8732) - you deserved it (47513)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7807) - you deserved it (34545)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7255) - you deserved it (45825)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)



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