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Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (3425)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (4253)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (3963)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (28548)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (1794)
On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9535) - you deserved it (37883)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (3267)
On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (1967)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (3458)
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (2964)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (2102)
On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (2169)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (1530)
On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (27678)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3991)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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