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babe7260's favorite FMLs
Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML
by sigh / 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by NotTheSoulMate / 09/26/2013 at 2:54am / United States / Love
Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML
by Abcporn / 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by AnAwesomePerson7 / 09/25/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work
by chinaski7628 / 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Work
by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML
by fuckwank / 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
by wat / 09/20/2013 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't… Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower.… Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms…