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About azurewave : Hey I'm Noah. Idk I'm pretty chill. I like meeting new ppl so message me.
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Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5308) - you deserved it (8471)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6951) - you deserved it (24697)
On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States
Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (2296)
On 10/04/2011 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18553) - you deserved it (5201)
On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2724)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6965) - you deserved it (75073)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (5316)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42903) - you deserved it (5514)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (2406)
On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (1750)
On 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by TMI - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (4179)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33555) - you deserved it (3184)
On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - love - by ColdHeat (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (175276) - you deserved it (9035)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (12552)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:07am - health - by masterdisaster (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753730) - you deserved it (63730)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
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