azrael_xx

Search for a member

azrael_xx

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6071
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About azrael_xx : Blargh

azrael_xx's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:33am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:38pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:10am<b>lramos42</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:59pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:21pm<b>gfonz</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:28am<b>manaia18</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 8:11pm<b>sexxme</b> - the 07/27/2011 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:33pm

azrael_xx's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of azrael_xx's badges

azrael_xx's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

by leeseyxoxo / 03/27/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

by dinomite / 03/26/2011 at 8:05am / Work

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

by Broderick / 03/26/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

by ouch / 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm / Animals

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

by fish killer / 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2011 at 12:18pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Health

Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML

by roadkill / 02/28/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:25am / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy