azrael_xx

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azrael_xx

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6464
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About azrael_xx : Blargh

azrael_xx's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - yesterday at 4:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:33am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:38pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:10am<b>lramos42</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:59pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:21pm<b>gfonz</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 12:28am<b>manaia18</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 8:11pm<b>sexxme</b> - the 07/27/2011 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:33pm

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azrael_xx's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

by Miriden / 07/19/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 7:04am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

by SonOfaSpy / 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

by grenade / 07/17/2011 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

by Auston / 07/17/2011 at 1:16am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

by it_IS_just_me / 07/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

by Mothering / 07/11/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love