azk3000

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azk3000

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1844
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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azk3000's page activity

Visits<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 12:14am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:05am<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:54am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:55am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Klima</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:54pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:02am<b>hillorie</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:24am<b>BulldogHoops</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 2:32am<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 8:41pm<b>sillybilly132</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 5:46pm<b>quincykid23</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 3:25am<b>Fenske_</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 10:48pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 2:12pm<b>wjh100</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 12:46am<b>MagicGiraffe</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 1:49am<b>breathemein</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 5:33pm<b>Blackcatluck</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:58pm

azk3000's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of azk3000's badges

azk3000's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

by marriedtoaretard / 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

by Czechplease / 11/03/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

by Pizza-less / 09/04/2011 at 12:16am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

by hannahj88 / 10/16/2010 at 12:41am / Australia / Work

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

by Katie / 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

by Katie / 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

by ggbhghggg / 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

by idiot / 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals