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azk3000

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azk3000
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 547
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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azk3000's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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azk3000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (6696)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (50339)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13924) - you deserved it (1490)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9136) - you deserved it (56055)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (26837)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you deserved it (6739)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25964) - you deserved it (4202)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (10420)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

#6357230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5893) - you deserved it (31682)

On 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by ggbhghggg - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6869) - you deserved it (108223)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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