azarole

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azarole

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 April 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 567
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About azarole : Dutch...

azarole's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/04/2011 at 8:19pm<b>danielle25</b> - the 04/17/2011 at 7:43pm<b>lcmk36</b> - the 04/17/2011 at 4:11pm

azarole's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

azarole's favorite FMLs

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

by ::Tracy:: / 04/17/2011 at 5:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

by inalotofpain / 04/16/2011 at 8:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

by Proprepourtant / 04/16/2011 at 7:28am / France / Intimacy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

by Proprepourtant / 04/16/2011 at 7:28am / France / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

by :| / 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

by Numb / 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

by danyelicindereli / 05/28/2009 at 11:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

by Christine / 05/09/2009 at 2:08am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy