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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (1610)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29889) - you deserved it (7768)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (2534)
On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23443) - you deserved it (720)
On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33565) - you deserved it (7587)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (17392)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34376)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (40503)
On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (31295)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (2067)
On 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by barface - United States (Texas)
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (1706)
On 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm - work - by lions214 (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7285) - you deserved it (24858)
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (23684)
On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (4574)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (2818)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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