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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6320) - you deserved it (16563)
On 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck teh poleese (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (1434)
On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (4317)
On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44965) - you deserved it (2321)
On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (2261)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (3028)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (2437)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (2445)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (13976)
On 01/27/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by maryfaithh (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14350) - you deserved it (1584)
On 01/27/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by disturbedtosaytheleast (woman) - Canada
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (1797)
On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27668) - you deserved it (5392)
On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (1926)
On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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