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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2039)
On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (8125)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (911)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5696) - you deserved it (22140)
On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (2152)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17875) - you deserved it (38127)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (1808)
On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (2214)
On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (5910)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7841) - you deserved it (5651)
On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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