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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13052) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17047) - you deserved it (1013)
On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (954)
On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States
Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (1004)
On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15521) - you deserved it (951)
On 09/03/2012 at 5:37am - misc - by Tyler - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16863) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19239) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8210) - you deserved it (17142)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13588) - you deserved it (31990)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11881) - you deserved it (2903)
On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (7312)
On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (1707)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9011) - you deserved it (28976)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11663) - you deserved it (1064)
On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15978) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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