Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aw3som3sauc3

Search for a member

aw3som3sauc3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About aw3som3sauc3 : Sweet mother, sweet mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear... If you know the quote, you are a true fan.
Also, a bit about myself, my favorite bands are Lonely Island, Immortal Technique, and Skrillex, along with Eminem on certain occasions. I love to read! One of my favorite series is the one I'm currently reading, which is "A Game of Thrones" and "Shades of gray". And no, it's not the nasty book with the 50 shades of the color, that's just wrong...

aw3som3sauc3's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:30am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:48pm<b>curticus</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:52am<b>RoamingHobo</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:25am<b>batah</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 3:35am<b>straww</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:58am<b>ThexVengence</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 12:08pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:10pm<b>mimi_animee</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 6:45pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:08am<b>149967</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 6:57pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:06pm<b>Rob4614</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 4:54am<b>Chrispy511</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:47pm<b>Soloman212</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 9:24pm<b>meganlovesyou69</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:42pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:22pm<b>OceanBlueSea</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 6:01am

aw3som3sauc3's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of aw3som3sauc3's badges

aw3som3sauc3's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (57704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (45295)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39092) - you deserved it (10327)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (4002)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (3923)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27396) - you deserved it (1932)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18263) - you deserved it (36555)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (38901)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (4437)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

#19381201
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (19426)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (3364)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (5439)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (9621)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: