Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

auzzrage

Search for a member

auzzrage

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1252
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About auzzrage : Names jack im always on usually bored, message me :)

auzzrage's page activity

Visits<b>Massimo_</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:27pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:11am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:14pm<b>aherne</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:41pm<b>gomer3401</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:43am<b>JK0909</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:27pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:21am<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:57am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:21am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:48am<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:37pm<b>swagboi69</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:14pm<b>mgk860</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:33pm<b>gobluelightning</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Zach99999</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:28am<b>warriorkitty_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:16am

auzzrage's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

auzzrage's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43063) - you deserved it (3033)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (4299)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (9260)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

#14967945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (19055)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8109) - you deserved it (47145)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41798) - you deserved it (8702)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (2704)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15356) - you deserved it (58772)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
996 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70902) - you deserved it (736651)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: