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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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au_hark

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au_hark
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 283
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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au_hark's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

#8886558 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (16898) - you deserved it (1051)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by crimson28 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

#7010356 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (1752)

On 12/29/2009 at 5:57am - animals - by PoachedFish (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (31570)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (66501) - you deserved it (9150)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (11078) - you deserved it (46682)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64279) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (44090)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (88923) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (76615) - you deserved it (3837)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167974) - you deserved it (51062)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (159963) - you deserved it (24634)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783 (455)

I agree, your life sucks (294853) - you deserved it (16467)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342737) - you deserved it (22946)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

#19556 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (878) - you deserved it (17115)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419939) - you deserved it (30687)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)