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asomogyi

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asomogyi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 September 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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asomogyi's page activity

Visits<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 8:22am<b>floon</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 1:02am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:01am<b>coleiab125</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 10:01pm<b>z_lite</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 4:38am<b>maz95</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 6:08pm<b>hannahdietsch</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 2:05pm<b>challan</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 12:58am<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 8:38am

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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asomogyi's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (4130)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63518) - you deserved it (8097)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58164) - you deserved it (4583)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53183) - you deserved it (6510)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65531) - you deserved it (18692)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65666) - you deserved it (12619)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46244) - you deserved it (7755)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59690) - you deserved it (10730)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54703) - you deserved it (14387)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (9263)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (7846)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (35646)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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