asleepingbear

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asleepingbear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1120
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About asleepingbear : I dont know

asleepingbear's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>GucciFrog</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:08pm<b>WarDrifterz</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:38am<b>Roskie</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:49am<b>Han1156</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 6:59am<b>iamataco</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:23pm<b>LittleJess23</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 10:21am<b>blueeyedann</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:36am<b>Nick_Le_Geek</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:47am<b>grace31297</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 7:12am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 4:40am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:53pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:45pm<b>Out_Fade</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:51pm<b>Boo_bear_killer</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:53am<b>tsent8</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 12:02am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:13pm<b>LupeTabasco</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 1:11pm

asleepingbear's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of asleepingbear's badges

asleepingbear's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 5:45am / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

by alexo / 05/23/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Transportation

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML

by rabbitoncocaine / 04/20/2012 at 2:41am / Germany (Thuringen) / Transportation

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

by iJuli / 04/08/2012 at 1:17am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

by swim5 / 03/31/2012 at 8:22am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Money

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy