About asleepingbear : I dont know
asleepingbear's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
asleepingbear's favorite FMLs
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
by alexo / 05/23/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Transportation
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML
by rabbitoncocaine / 04/20/2012 at 2:41am / Germany (Thuringen) / Transportation
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by iJuli / 04/08/2012 at 1:17am / United States (Montana) / Love
by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by swim5 / 03/31/2012 at 8:22am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Money
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, I had to use the bathroom at school. After taking a piss I let out what I thought would just… Today, after things started getting heated with me and the bf, he went down and starting exploring… Today, my girlfriend is mad at me for not going to watch her sister's swim meet. I'm with my mother…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…