About asleepingbear : I dont know
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Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (3225)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16665) - you deserved it (1451)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (7707)
On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (3072)
On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (1891)
On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4594) - you deserved it (30068)
On 07/16/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by AlbertEinstein_ (woman) - Ireland
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (1934)
On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4620) - you deserved it (34647)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (1388)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (21822)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (11191)
On 04/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by rabbitoncocaine (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (2075)
On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (4321)
On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (1590)
On 04/08/2012 at 1:17am - love - by iJuli - United States (Montana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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