About asleepingbear : I dont know
50 favourites
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It’s in the can
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Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (1055)
On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (3894)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States
Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (1339)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11512) - you deserved it (1655)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (7424)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20282) - you deserved it (1246)
On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (1527)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (2135)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14357) - you deserved it (2669)
On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5170) - you deserved it (14278)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (1647)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19238) - you deserved it (2959)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20469) - you deserved it (1120)
On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12186) - you deserved it (27859)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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