asleepingbear

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asleepingbear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About asleepingbear : I dont know

asleepingbear's page activity

Visits<b>Srxjo</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:09pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>GucciFrog</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:08pm<b>WarDrifterz</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:38am<b>Roskie</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:49am<b>Han1156</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 6:59am<b>iamataco</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:23pm<b>LittleJess23</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 10:21am<b>blueeyedann</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:36am<b>Nick_Le_Geek</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:47am<b>grace31297</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 7:12am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 4:40am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:53pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:45pm<b>Out_Fade</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:51pm<b>Boo_bear_killer</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:53am<b>tsent8</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 12:02am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:13pm

asleepingbear's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of asleepingbear's badges

asleepingbear's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

by me / 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

by anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

by lifesucks0925 / 09/06/2013 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

by broken finger / 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm / United States / Health

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

by Nogood / 03/10/2013 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

by Ughh! / 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

by areyoukiddingme / 01/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous