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ashseal

Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 7:02am) | Search for a member

ashseal

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2626
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ashseal : Hello

ashseal's page activity

Visits<b>derp_taco</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Tyler1299</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 6:34am<b>gamerkz</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:32am<b>bjt916</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:43pm<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:42am<b>glowbaby</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Jatingupta</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:29am<b>midnightm16</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:05am<b>Weemandarin</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 5:44pm<b>swint777</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:16pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:42am<b>evalu8tor</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:24am<b>rjc490</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 11:30pm<b>gama24</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Shayaan</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:33pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - one hour ago

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ashseal's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

#740213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (74365)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

#705801
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53599) - you deserved it (16700)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132533) - you deserved it (10342)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

#632054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120473) - you deserved it (8972)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106414) - you deserved it (5524)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62501) - you deserved it (31814)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (65489)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33983) - you deserved it (90416)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (57427)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (2862)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281740) - you deserved it (51896)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63575) - you deserved it (24357)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2448)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (9911)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (2431)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)



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