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ashseal's favorite FMLs
by juwkgo / 02/17/2010 at 10:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Sully / 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 10:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
by Michele / 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
by dollybabe / 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by RoxMySox / 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Volume_control / 11/10/2009 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML
by jennabean / 08/12/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
by condom_kid / 07/27/2009 at 10:34am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
by pyrosythan / 07/20/2009 at 1:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by anonyme / 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…