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ashseal's favorite FMLs
Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML
by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by gnownayrgnow / 05/08/2011 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy
Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
by Username / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 1:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML
by LonelyBoy / 02/01/2011 at 8:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by snappyPi / 01/28/2011 at 1:21am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by riddick0846 / 12/12/2010 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Animals
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by blenderbookf / 11/25/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I told the girl I've been seeing for a while about the strong feelings that I have for her and that I was falling in love. She told me my words made her realize what it felt like to be in love. My words were so powerful, in fact, that she ran right back into the arms of her ex boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, and for the last few days I've stopped texting the people I talk with daily to see if they'd… Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday… Today, I found out im allergic to the medicine I use for nausea the side effect is throwing up, FML
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and…