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ashseal

Offline (the 08/06/2015 at 7:44am) | Search for a member

ashseal

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3495
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ashseal : Hello

ashseal's page activity

Visits<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Jaymojustmaybe</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>Halpak</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:25pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>protonoobs</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:19pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:06am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:33pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:51pm<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:53pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:18pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Tyler1299</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 6:34am<b>gamerkz</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:32am<b>bjt916</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:43pm<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:42am<b>glowbaby</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:34pm

Fucked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:55pm

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ashseal's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (7725)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (7168)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (10434)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

#16271317
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (4853)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

#16267088
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49951) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (13948)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

#16160002
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (19599)

On 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

#16158783
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (2878)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

#16158573
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (4201)

On 05/13/2011 at 2:47pm - money - by Catie - United States (Florida)

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

#16157723
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11752) - you deserved it (62652)

On 05/13/2011 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by scalmon - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (8059)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

#16155788
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (5640)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:27am - work - by Smile No More -

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (6395)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35060) - you deserved it (15131)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -



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