ashleighm

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ashleighm

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6252
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ashleighm : Hello.

ashleighm's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:51am<b>mari0958</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 2:56pm<b>kell710</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 10:24am<b>allie2590</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 6:36pm<b>boogerface</b> - the 03/24/2009 at 9:02pm

ashleighm's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ashleighm's favorite FMLs

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

by T-Pain / 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

by hatetheroommate / 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

by vetapplez / 04/04/2009 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

by vetapplez / 04/04/2009 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

by blehhh / 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

by C0olgirl / 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

by Alex / 03/31/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love