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ashl123's favorite FMLs
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
by Nicole / 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
by Madzison / 02/06/2012 at 5:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Mrs. Man / 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML
by brokeandsingle / 01/29/2012 at 4:55am / United Kingdom (York) / Love
by selfesteemboost / 01/27/2012 at 12:14pm / Belize (Belize) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML
by WillaminaL / 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by anon. / 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to…