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ashl123's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by BookBabe / 03/25/2012 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ohno / 03/25/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML
by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous
by fmylifebigtime / 02/25/2012 at 9:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML
by mishie1 / 02/21/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
by Nicole / 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
- Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the… Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom,… Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me.…