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ashl123's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
by Ameel / 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
by Holls / 04/12/2012 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my anxiety was so bad that when I was riding my bike on the side walk and two pedestrians came walking in the opposite direction, I got so nervous about having to go between them or accidentally hitting them that I fell off my bike, into a bush. FML
by sydstreet / 04/09/2012 at 1:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by James / 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm / United States / Kids
by MDWilde / 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Kids
Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by azmom / 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by MattBC97 / 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 1:52am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which… Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms… Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started…