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ashl123's FML badges
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
ashl123's favorite FMLs
by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML
by homealone / 05/03/2012 at 12:39am / Canada / Love
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by Tashie01 / 04/29/2012 at 6:10am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
by Jaclk / 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by GogoTheGreat / 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
by joolsie / 04/13/2012 at 9:11am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
by marymark / 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…