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Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14889) - you deserved it (3461)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14057) - you deserved it (3151)
On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (2305)
On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (4166)
On 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (1722)
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (2416)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (2300)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (1911)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18167) - you deserved it (12545)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35500) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13441) - you deserved it (3345)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13858) - you deserved it (2831)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (6658)
On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (39883) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Friday 24 May 2013
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