Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ashl123

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

ashl123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3032
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ashl123's page activity

Visits<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:34am<b>Nicolasaur726</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:39pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:33pm<b>ahlexus</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:11am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:07pm<b>sofuckinglonely</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:53am<b>ms_fancypants</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:31pm<b>born_to_die</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:42pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:23am<b>curticus</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:26pm<b>collicott</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:00am<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:30pm<b>redwolf213</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:28pm<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:38pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:47pm<b>princesshifi</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 8:18am<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 3:39pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:05am

ashl123's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of ashl123's badges

ashl123's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
1 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52808) - you deserved it (4010)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63193) - you deserved it (6873)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42313) - you deserved it (145620)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
541 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220370) - you deserved it (23874)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early Birthday present. With straight faces, they look at me and say: "we signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it take a year. FML

#2051394
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (5216)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by imnotTHATlonely (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
656 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (284386)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML

#1416209
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67041) - you deserved it (5972)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:44am - intimacy - by Lockie (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (125402)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

#556029
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51780) - you deserved it (87504)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
339 comments

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185230) - you deserved it (32612)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250504) - you deserved it (32417)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49833) - you deserved it (252132)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: