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ashl123's favorite FMLs
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 5:08am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML
by DesperateToBeDad / 12/31/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/16/2015 at 3:23am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by burnbabyburn / 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom / Work
by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
by BlueMacaw / 09/16/2015 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML
by ihatemyjob / 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
by fuck no / 08/22/2015 at 6:18am / India (Kerala) / Intimacy
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
by technicallywroteabook / 08/21/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by LoveIsOneSided / 08/18/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by doodoobref / 07/31/2015 at 1:38am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in.… Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at… Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I…