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Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14065) - you deserved it (17476)
On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18282) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15903) - you deserved it (1549)
On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (3160)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (968)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15054) - you deserved it (1224)
On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16625) - you deserved it (1196)
On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12340) - you deserved it (3115)
On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (1334)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (19127)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (1639)
On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (4128)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (1023)
On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18268) - you deserved it (1361)
On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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