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ashie__x
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  • Number of visits : 488
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ashie__x's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43592) - you deserved it (16155)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

#13610452
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (6280)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:24am - health - by ew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42284) - you deserved it (13767)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (2611)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (30639)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50788) - you deserved it (4211)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55080) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33404) - you deserved it (76072)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17803) - you deserved it (103269)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)



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