About ashapasha : im complicated...
ashapasha's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
ashapasha's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
by anonymous / 08/19/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
by Brooke / 01/15/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by Embarressed... / 08/04/2010 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen / 08/04/2010 at 3:58am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
by ick / 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by RachelVanLannen9 / 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…