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ashabieber11

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ashabieber11

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  • Number of visits : 365
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ashabieber11's page activity

Visits<b>damiano1212</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:05pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:31pm

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ashabieber11's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66778) - you deserved it (9227)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (3374)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72637) - you deserved it (5803)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18133) - you deserved it (35269)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

#20543135
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28828) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/14/2013 at 4:52am - money - by ScrewedForCheapBag - United States (California)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (7178)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (4370)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58158) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (8087)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (1666)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

#19998464
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (18825)

On 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by purplexangel (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28050) - you deserved it (2524)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (3390)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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