This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15147) - you deserved it (25504)
On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States
Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (1343)
On 03/14/2013 at 4:52am - money - by ScrewedForCheapBag - United States (California)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (6417)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47628) - you deserved it (2809)
On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14373) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States
Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16385) - you deserved it (1328)
On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (1495)
On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (2094)
On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (1710)
On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (3628)
On 09/21/2010 at 4:50am - misc - by teardrops - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (7684)
On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29575) - you deserved it (2234)
On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (7091)
On 12/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Postdotfuzz (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178138) - you deserved it (25407)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
