asdfjkl123456

Search for a member

asdfjkl123456

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3956
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About asdfjkl123456 : No

asdfjkl123456's page activity

Visits<b>int15</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 3:35pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 1:45am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:47pm<b>CarlCarlCarl</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 5:00pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 9:25pm<b>bonjourhello</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 10:18am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 8:27am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 4:29pm<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:48pm<b>fooad444</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:34am<b>moosemanjinkurs</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:48am<b>zefronke8</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:20am<b>captmiller1</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:34pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:25pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:19am<b>savannahleiggh</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:33pm

asdfjkl123456's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of asdfjkl123456's badges

asdfjkl123456's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

by lionhead14 / 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

by Sam / 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

by dadum / 01/27/2011 at 2:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

by ugly / 11/14/2010 at 2:39am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

by Jen / 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm / Australia / Money

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

by Ploeboi / 08/04/2010 at 4:28am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

by PrintMaster / 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm / United States / Health

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

by notmydad. / 05/08/2010 at 6:07am / Philippines (Manila) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

by nerdygirl101 / 03/13/2010 at 12:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous